i cant take this anymore!
many previous attempts to find a job but failed.
now depending on my parents for money is becoming a greattttttttttttt deal.
i've had enough of all these nonsense.
wasting my tears over these pieces of shit.
yes, maybe the reason lies in me, if i don't go out, i wouldn't spend.
but bunk is my daily recharge of energy!

It's sorta exaggerating but, people at bunk are somewhat different from people at school.
everything has changed once i started going bunk.
The experience is wonderful, and i never want it to end just like that.

perhaps i may not bunk as often as before if i manage to get a job.
but i sure will make more friends once i start!
and definitely not spend those nights crying over parents' annoying reprimands and lectures.
It's tiring, even for the one being scolded.
i rather sacrifice my bunk time rather than being told again and again about how i handle my finance;
when the amount is barely enough for bunking.

I'm hesitating, even right now.
Because i like bunking, i like the presence of auditioners and having conversations.
if i want the money, i have to sacrifice all that.
I'm at a lost,
if i were to go and work, i would spend less time with bunkers.
if i were to continue depending on my parents to support my bunk fees, i may end up grounded.
if i were to control my spendings, it's possible.
but i don't like it. its so hard to explain.
why can't i be like vedelene, only a little different.
as least she has the freedom to spend money on whatever she wants to eat.

imagining those relatives and friends of my parents, always saying i'm thin and i dont eat.
why blame me? i would buy anything to eat if i had the money.
why not blame my mother, for not fattening me up for meals?

its so complicated.
soooooooooooooo complicated.
i don't even want to continue in the topic,
it's killing me.

giving advices to people,
but who will give advices to me?
tssssssssssssssssssk.

T.T

today i had so much fun during the national day celebration at school.
but this totally dampened my mood.